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'Twas the
night before Hanukkah
and all over the place
There was noise,
there was kvetching
Soch ah disgrace!
The
Kinderlach, sleeping,
uneasily felt
The chocolate rush
from
the Hanukkah gelt
And me in the
easyboy,
so stuffed with latkes,
I stretched the elastic
which held up my gatchkes.
When up on the
roof
(and it has a steep pitch)
A fat alte kakker
was making
a kvitsch.
I jumped up
real quick
and I ran to the door,
Was it a bandeet,
or only a
schnorrer?
He wasn't
alone;
he had eight ferdelach,
And called them by name
as he
gave a gebrach:
"On Moishe, on
Yankel, on Itzik, on Sam,
On Mendel, on Shmendrik, on Feivush, on
Ham;
My kidneys are kvelling;
do you give a damn?"
He had a white
beard
and payyes to boot,
And to keep out the cold,
he had
such a nice suit!
A second from
Peerless,
I could tell at a glance,
But the cut was okay,
and
so were the pants.
He was triple
XL,
a real groisser goof,
So I yelled out,
"Meshuggener! Get
off from Mein roof!"
He jumped down
and said
as he shook hands with me,
"Max Klaus is the name.
You have maybe some tea?"
So I gave him
a gleisel,
while he shook his white mop,
Mutt'ring, "Always the
same thing,
They're dreying my kopp!"
From Vancouver
to Glacer Bay,
Outremont to Reginek,
Every shmo in the world
hakks meir a cheinik!
They're
screaming for presents,
and challah with schmaltz,
And from
Brooklyn alone,
the back pain, gevaltz!"
So we sat and
yentehed,
and we spun the old dreydels,
(He took all of my money,
and one of my kanidels)
He said,
"Business is not bad,
a living I make,
But I'm getting too old
for this Hanukkah fake;
And the cell
phones, you see
how my pacemaker dings?
For two cents I'd quit,
and move to Palm Springs?"
And he gave a
geshrei
as he fled mit a lacht,
"Gut Yontiff to All,
Vey is
Mir, Such a Nacht!"
~Author Unknown~
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