Here are
some actual signs seen around the world:
- Outside a farm: HORSE MANURE: $1 PER PRE-PACKED BAG -.25
CENTS DO-IT-YOURSELF.
- In a laundry, on each washing machine: PLEASE REMOVE ALL
YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.
- In a London office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY
THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.
 
- On a church door: THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN. ENTER YE
BY THIS DOOR. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use the side door)
- Outside a photographer's studio: OUT TO LUNCH; IF NOT
BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO.
- Outside a disco: SMARTS IS THE MOST EXCLUSIVE DISCO IN
TOWN. EVERYONE WELCOME.
- In a cleaner's window: ANYONE LEAVING THEIR GARMENTS
HERE FOR MORE THAN 30 DAYS WILL BE DISPOSED OF.
- In a health food shop: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS.
- In a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
- In a hotel during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS
CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR.
- In a farmer's field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS
THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT BE AWARE THAT THE BULL CHARGES.
- On a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (Please
knock hard on the door -- the bell doesn't work)
- In an office building washroom: TOILET OUT OF ORDER.
PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.
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