- You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
- You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the
earth.
- Job interfering with your drinking.
- Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
- Career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts.
- The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
- Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
- 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I
think not!
- Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking
problem!
- You can focus better with one eye closed.
- The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the
bar.
- You fall off the floor...
- Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
- Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw
dinner!
- At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
- Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
- The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...
- You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine,
Alcohol, and Pretzels
- Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass.
- That stupid pink elephant followed me home again.
- Senators Kennedy and Packwood shake their heads when they
walk past you.
- "I'm as jober as a sudge."
- The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering.
- You wake up screaming "TORO TORO TORO!" in the
middle of the night.
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