Here are actual
excerpts from real resumes and cover letters...
And these people think they can get a job?
- I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.
- I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreasheet
progroms.
- Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.
- Wholly responsible for two(2) failed financial institutions.
- Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave
- Failed bar exam with relatively high grades
- It's best for employers that I not work with people
- Let's meet, so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience.
- You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.
- Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.
- I was working for my mom until she decided to move.
- Marital status: single: Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No
commitments
- I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.
- I am loyal to my employer at all costs... Please feel free to
respond to my resume on my office voice mail.
- I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one
and absolutely nothing.
- My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no
training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.
- I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.
- Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.
- As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments.
- Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain
store.
- Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I
have never quit a job.
- Marital status: often. Children: various
- Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees
get to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn't work under those conditions.
- The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous
employers.
- Finished eighth in my class of ten.
- References: none. I've left a path of destruction behind me.
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