Here
are the Best T-shirts, which ran recently in the Washington Post:
God Made Us Sisters; Prozac Made Us Friends
My Mother Is a Travel Agent for Guilt Trips
Senior Citizen: Give Me My Damn Discount
(Spotted on a passing motorcycle): If You Can
Read This, My wife Fell Off
I Used to Be Schizophrenic, but We're OK Now
Veni, Vedi, Visa: I Came, I Saw, I Did a
Little Shopping
What If the Hokey Pokey Is Really What It's
All About?
Coffee, Chocolate, Men; Some Things Are Just
Better Rich
Liberal Arts Major..Will Think for Food
Don't Treat Me Any Differently Than You Would
the Queen
Gravity...It's Not Just a Good Idea. It's the
Law
If You Want Breakfast in Bed, Sleep in the
Kitchen
First National Bank of Dad; Sorry, Closed
In Dog Years, I'm Dead
Love May Be Blind, But Marriage Is a Real Eye
Opener
If at First You Don't Succeed, Skydiving
Isn't for You
The Trouble With the Gene Pool Is That
There's No Lifeguard
Get a New Car for Your Spouse. It'll Be a
Great Trade
I'm Going to Graduate on Time, No Matter How
Long It Takes
Anything Not Worth Doing Is Not Worth Doing
Well
A Day Without Sunshine is Like Night
First Things First, but Not Necessarily in
That Order
Old Age Comes at a Bad Time
In America, Anyone Can Be President. That's
One of the Risks You Take
Some people are only alive because it is
illegal to shoot them
I used to have a handle on life, but it
broke.
You're just jealous because the voices only
talk to ME.
BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute.
The more you complain, the longer God makes
you live.
I(nternal) R(evenue) S(ervice): We've got
what it takes to take what you've got.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays
off now.
Out of my mind...Back in five minutes.
As long as there are tests, there will be
prayer in public schools.
Hang up and drive.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my
grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
God must love stupid people...He made SO
many.
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do
with your lips.
I took an IQ test and the results were
negative.
Where there's a will..I want to be in it.
Consciousness: That annoying time between
naps.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start
again?
Always remember you're unique... Just like
everyone else.
God is my copilot, but the Devil is my
bombardier.
I don't have a license to kill. I have a
learner's permit.
Keep honking while I reload.
Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot,
either!
Who were the testers for Preparations A
through G?
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact
change.
5 days a week my body is a temple. The other
two, it's an amusement park.
EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other
planets later.
If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause
people.
If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and
sue you.
Save the whales! Trade them for valuable
prizes.
Whitewater is over when the First Lady sings.
Jack Kevorkian for White House physician.
My wife keeps complaining I never listen to
her ...or something like that
Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink
and derive.
Stop repeat offenders. Don't reelect them!
|
