The
following are actual statements found on insurance forms where drivers attempted to
summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words possible:
Coming home, I drove into wrong house and
collided with a tree I don't have.
I thought my window was down, but found it
was up when I put my head through it.
The other car collided with mine without
giving warning of its intentions.
I collided with a stationary car going the
other way.
A truck backed through my windshield into my
wife's face.
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
The guy was all over the road. I had to
swerve a number of times before I hit him.
I pulled away from the side of the road,
glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a
telephone pole.
I had been shopping for plants all day and
was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision,
and I did not see the other car.
I had been driving for 40 years when I fell
asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
I was on my way to the doctor with rear end
trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
As I approached the intersection a sign
suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to
stop in time to avoid the accident. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I
struck the pedestrian.
My car was legally parked as it backed into
the other vehicle.
An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck
my car and vanished.
I told the police that I was not injured, but
upon removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.
I was sure the old fellow would never make it
to the other side of the curb when I struck him.
The telephone pole was approaching. I was
attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck the front end. I was thrown from the
car as it left the road. I was later found in the ditch by some stray cows.
The indirect cause of the accident was a
little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
The pedestrian had no idea which direction to
run, so I ran over him.
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