Operator, Please!

Actual Questions Asked Of Telephone Information Operators:
(C= Caller and O = Operator.)

C: I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please.

O: I'm sorry, there's no such listing. Are you sure you have the spelling correct?

C: Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the B fell off.

C: I'd like the number of the Scottish knitwear company in Woven.

O: I can't find a town called 'Woven'? Are you sure?

C: Yes. That's what it says on the label - Woven in Scotland.

C: I'd like the RSPCA please.

O: Where are you calling from?

C: The living room

C: The water board please.

O: Which department?

C: Tap water

O: How qre you spelling that?

C: With letters.

C: I'd like the number for a Reverend in Cardiff, please.

O: Do you have his name?

C: No, but he has a dog named Ben.

C: The Union of Shopkeepers and Alligators please.

O: You mean the Amalgamated Union of Shopkeepers?

C: Er, yes.

On one occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told the worried operator:

"I haven't got a pen so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on."

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