Shrink his underwear in the dryer and when he
complains, innocently suggest that he's gained a few pounds.
"Accidentally" fill the gas tank of
his new Porsche with diesel.
Have your mother fly in for a month-long
visit, totally unannounced.
Insist upon a lot of "meaningful
conversations."
Take the batteries out of all the remotes in
the house. Hide them well.
Organize his desk, workshop, bedroom, or
other special place.
Repeatedly lose his cellular phone in
restaurants around town.
Bribe his faithful dog away from him with a
steady diet of Ding Dongs.
Misplace the cordless phone, preferably in a
different room each time every other day for three weeks...
Reverse his contact lenses in their case.
Loan his precious cellular phone to a
pregnant girlfriend who "needs it more than he does."
Snip a small hole in his fishing waders, then
follow him with a camera to capture his "sinking" on film.
Stare at his forehead and when he notices,
casually ask if there is any history of male pattern baldness on his mother's side.
Superglue the pages of his Little Black Book
together.
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