How can you tell if a Texas redneck is married?

There is dried chewing tobacco on both sides of his pickup truck.

Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32?

It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi?

A documentary.

Why did God invent armadillos?

So that Texas rednecks can have 'possum on the half shell.

Where was the toothbrush invented?

Oklahoma. If it was invented anywhere else it would have been called a "teethbrush."

Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40. He says to the driver, "Got any ID?"

The driver says, "Bout what?"

Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Georgia State Lottery?

The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.

Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Little Rock, Arkansas burned down?

Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park.

Two Mississippians are walking down different ends of a street toward each other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?"

"Jus' some chickens."

"If I guesses how many they are, can I have one?"

"Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them."

"OK. Ummmmm............. five?"

What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas, and a hurricane in Florida have in common?

Somebody's fixin' to lose them a trailer.

A Mississippian came home and found his house on fire, he rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here. My house is on fire!"

"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"

"Shucks, don't you still have those big red trucks?"

Why do folks in Kentucky go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?

'Cuz 17 and under not admitted.

What do you get when you have 32 rednecks in the same room?

A full set of teeth.

Get "Games Rednecks Play!"
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