You make over $250,000 a year and still can't
afford a house.
It's sprinkling outside, so you leave for
work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
Your child's third grade teacher has purple
hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.
You've been to a baby shower for an infant
who has two mothers and a sperm donor.
You have a very strong opinion about where
your coffee beans are grown, and can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
You know which restaurant serves the freshest
arugula.
A really great parking space can move you to
tears.
Your car insurance costs as much as your
house payment.
Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is
gay, and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.
Over 85% of the cities, towns, and streets
start with San, Los, El, La, Santa, De La, or De Los.
Two overcast days in a row drive you mad.
A family of four owns six vehicles.
Everyone who lives here knows that
hurricanes, tornadoes, floods and snowstorms are way worse than earthquakes, which are,
after all, over almost as soon as you realize what's happening.
Even if the store is across the street, you
drive there.
Q. How many Californians does it take to screw
in
a light bulb?
A. None. Californians cannot afford to turn on the lights.
|
