Mirror! Mirror!

Where do you get the glaring light
To make my clothes look just too tight?

I think I'm fine but I can see
you won't cooperate with me;

The way you let the shadows play
You'd think my hair was getting gray.

What's that, you say? A double chin?
No, that's the way the light comes in;

If you persist in peering so
You'll confiscate my facial glow,

And then if you're not hanging straight
You'll tell me next I'm gaining weight;

I'm really quite upset with you
For giving this distorted view;

I hate you being smug and wise ~
O, look what's happened to my thighs!

I warn you now, O mirrored wall,
Since we're not on speaking terms at all,

If I look like this in my new jeans,
You'll find yourself in smithereens.

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