Classified Craziness!

 

Here are some actual classified ads that just didn't
come out quite right!
  • Stock up and save. Limit: one.

  • We build bodies that last a lifetime.

  • For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

  • Man, honest. Will take anything.

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  • Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

  • Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!

  • Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

  • Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.

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  • Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

  • 3-year-old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

  • Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

  • Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

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  • Illiterate? Write today for free help.

  • Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

  • Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.

  • And now, the Superstore -- unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

  • We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.


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